People start to learn lying from the tender age of six months until the day they die.We lie in relationships, and we lie to ourselves. This article discusses this power, why it is an inherent aspect of being human, and the psychology of lying for every human around the world.The American Psychological Association’s dictionary defines a lie as a false statement or a false presentation, known to be untrue, that is made with the intention to deceive. Researchers have published that children from around half a year old sense quickly that crying can get them what they want. The point is that they learn to fake it to fulfill their wishes. For children crying becomes a super-power. As we progress into adulthood, it may seem that lying about little things comes naturally and becomes part of your everyday life. Most people have lied at some point in their lives. Even telling someone, ‘I’m fine’ when you are not doing well can be considered a small everyday lie.Lying can be summarized as the intention to deceive one person by wanting them to believe a statement that the liar believes is untrue or the liar knows is incomplete. Why do we, as humans, tend to find so much satisfaction in deceiving others? This habit continues from childhood into adulthood, and our lies change as we learn the difference between morality and small white lies. Eventually, our lies take shape according to the requirements of the circumstances, coming to us spontaneously. Deception becomes a part of our life naturally. We do not even need to think about the deception before actually doing it. But, when we deceive others and stop being honest, it can hinder our thoughts and expressions.There are many different facets to telling lies. For example, if a child told their mother that they cooked some eggs but did not say they burned the pan, does this constitute a lie? It does. Lies come in many different forms. Sometimes it’s a plain white lie intended to deceive. Other times it could be a half-true statement or a conscious omission designed to hide something. After understanding the neuroscience behind lying, you may also want to know why do we breathe and why do we fall.What is the psychology behind lying?Psychologist Dr. Barry Farber, MD, says, ‘Lying is inevitable in psychotherapy.’ We as humans strive to show ourselves as perfect beings in front of other people, even if we do not believe ourselves to be one. Frankly, nobody is perfect. Our idea of perfection lies in what society defines as perfect, which is a social construct.When things go awry, people tend to uphold this image of perfection and help it by starting to tell lies. We lie to hide our mistakes or to exaggerate our shortcomings. We avoid the truth by keeping information and only relaying the part which does not affect our persona. We lie to conform to social standards, sometimes agreeing to things we do not believe in to avoid confrontation or fit in. Some people lie because they want to assert control over a situation, expecting a particular response from the deceived person. They lie about the situation in a specific way because they feel that it will influence other people. Liars manipulate people into believing them.Some people lie because they desperately desire to have the last word in every situation. If these liars do not deliver their version of the truth, they tend to lie to prove themselves right. They will lie even when it could result in a punishment. Countless other psychological reasons for lying are jealousy, hatred, malicious intentions, or taking the easy way out to avoid confrontation or an argument.But that is not always the case. There are other types of lies, known as prosocial lies, where we lie for someone else’s benefit. A person may lie to cover up for their friend’s late arrival to work even though it has no direct benefit for them. They lie because they care about their friend.Reasons Why People LiePeople often tell lies to save themselves or avoid circumstances they don’t want to find themselves in, like getting punished. We lie because we fear getting caught for doing something wrong. Sometimes, when you have made up a lie, you need to make more of them to support the original lie and not get caught. That only makes the problem worse because once a lie is out, it feels easier to lie more than telling the truth.There are countless reasons for a person to tell a lie. Often, lies serve selfish interests, giving someone an advantage by lying instead of telling the truth. For example, some people deceive others by creating stories to further their agenda. They may not care who they lie to achieve their goals. Healthy competition doesn’t hurt anyone, but deceit does. The most common reason for lying is to hide your mistakes or shortcomings. Nobody likes to be proved wrong or caught making mistakes. When someone gets caught and confronted, they may lie to avoid a difficult or embarrassing situation.However, some people could be pathological liars, a mental health disorder where the person compulsively lies for no apparent reason. Science tells us that they tend to lie about the smallest, most inconsequential matters. Often they make up the situation entirely or tell different versions of the same story to different people. Psychologists suggest that this behavior may develop due to self-esteem issues or attention-seeking tendencies.Reasons Why Lying Is GoodAs much as we see lying and deceiving negatively, there are some advantages to lying that can get you through many social situations. It depends on the facts and circumstances of each case. Imagine your friend accidentally broke the window of someone in the neighborhood while you were playing, and they scolded both of you. You would probably decide to take the punishment with your friend instead of telling the truth to save yourself.We often tell lies to protect our relationships from unnecessary misunderstandings, hurt or to hide our feelings about certain things we do not wish to convey. We often see the words ‘for the greater good’ associated with ethical lying. It means using a lie to prevent something worse from happening. Meaning that the lie’s weight is much less than the consequences of the situation if you told the truth.As mentioned earlier, prosocial lies are lies that have no self-interest and that do not protect you. They are mostly told for the benefit of others and aren’t wrong if they do something good. Sometimes people create a lie to say something kind, friendly, or to help someone feel better. In such cases, lying can help to build trust, affection, and even love. Sometimes, you may not know a person, but you strongly oppose their opinions. Lies may help you avoid confrontation or an argument, but you can always agree to disagree instead of lying.When should you not lie?The main aspects to consider are the degree of the lie we concoct, its consequences, and our motives. Often, small white lies can be ignored, such as pretending you didn’t eat all the cookies. But lying about stealing money from your mother’s purse is definitely not suggested. The question to be considered here is: are you honest with yourself? Does honesty matter in this situation, or is it better to hide the truth? Is hiding the truth a better way or an easier way?Any situations in life backed by malicious or selfish intentions are not good ones. Lying about them only makes it worse and should be avoided. You must assess the situation and think about how the person would react to the lie compared to if you told them the truth. Most times, telling the truth takes off the burden of guilt that some people tend to carry consciously because of having lied to their peers or loved ones.Did You Know…Five signs that may indicate that a person could be lying include:Fidgeting, nervousness, and sweating.The inability to make eye contact or making more eye contact than usual or necessary.Sudden change in speech, behavior, or mannerisms that causes a delay in replying, long pauses between sentences, or sudden conversation changes.Stiff, rigid posture, and wide eyes.Logical inconsistencies, change or confusion of facts and circumstances, changing details, and spontaneous corrections.Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly facts for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for why do we lie, then why not take a look at why do we pray or why do we pay taxes.
People start to learn lying from the tender age of six months until the day they die.
